Do you remember Steve Martin’s first movie, “The Jerk”? 

There’s this scene where Navin Johnson (Steve Martin) is leaving his palatial mansion (that he’s loosing) and his girlfriend, Marie, (played by the eternally beautiful Bernadette Peters).  With his pants around his ankles, his robe open, and his mood sour, he keeps saying, “I don’t need ANYTHING . . . but this!” as he picks up various items of unimportance.

Am I making the case for “The Jerk” being one of the most romantic movies of all time?  Yes, I am, but that’s another story (and for my shrink, at that!).

I’ve got two trains of thought going on here and both have to do with how my fellow Trogloldytes think about the women in our lives.

First, maybe some of you guys are thinking, “She is absolutely perfect for me.  All she needs to do is change ________ (fill in the blank with whatever minor imperfection you wish they would change).” 

Or, if you’ve been married for a long time, you might look at your bride of “x” many years and think, “Man!  I remember when she ___________ (fill in the blank of whatever she no longer is or does that she use to be or do).  I wish she would look/be like that again.”

Now, the truth be known, we might have a few flaws of our own that we would be better men if we didn’t have them.  And, for those of us who have been around awhile, I’d venture a guess that we’re no longer the ripped (in a physical, not inebriated, sort of way) Adonis that our lovely brides first fell in love with oh those many years ago. 

(Ladies, that giant sucking sound you hear is that of your man sucking in his gut.  The next whooshing sound you hear will be that of the air being let out of his spare tire!).

While I’m “feeling the love” from the guys, they are wondering where I’m going with this.  Focused like a laser, I’m going in two directions. 

First, I’d like to challenge all of my fellow Neanderthals to take some time and take a good look at ourselves.  Take an inventory of those things that annoy our loved ones.  Are they legitimate complaints?  Are they things that are within our control to change?  Let’s tackle the easiest thing to change first and then move on to the next easiest item.

Me?  I could loose a couple of more pounds.  So, I’m taking up exercising.  Isometric exercising.  That’s my story and I’m standing by it!

The other direction that I’m going with this is to challenge my fellow Trogloldytes to change how we look at the lady in our life.  Are the changes we wish that she would make really that important?  Or, like the things Navin Johnson picks up on his way out of the house, are they really not important at all.

The words to Billy Joel’s, “Just The Way You Are”, come to mind.  You can look up the lyrics in their entirety but I’ll share a key line here:

Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

Make those words yours.  Also, do something special for your queen that will let her know that you still think she’s the light of your life.  We just celebrated Valentine’s Day.  Why not make a note to have more than one Valentine’s per year.  How about having others, say, once a week – to let her know that she’s IT!

If Navin Johnson was thinking correctly, he would have told Marie, “I don’t need anyone . . . BUT YOU!”

And, then, he probably would have pulled up his pants.