This past week was a week of ups, downs
and reflection. Sure, there was the proverbial New Year’s stuff like where-have-I-been-and-where-am-I-going
thingy. I also experienced the thrill that one gets from a feeling of accomplishment and validation for
jobs well done and having been told so from peers and superiors. There’s nothing like feeling valued
by others.
As
many of the Baby Boomer Generation do, we reflect on the brevity of life and that, for some of us, we’re on the back
half, if that that final quarter, of this rock and roll show. I’ve read in some ancient writings
something along the lines of, “For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little
while and then vanishes away.” Life seems to last forever but, then again, it’s far too short.
This led me to remembering the dead –
people I admired and looked up to. The week ended with recognizing the 75th birthday of Elvis.
I am always amazed at how this man was able to use his God-given talent to rise above his circumstances to achieve
incredible success. Even today Presley’s story boggles the mind.
Like others, I often wonder what could’ve been had
this incredible talent and icon had handled his life just a little bit differently so that he could have impacted the world
more than he had (as if that wasn’t enough). We’ll never know but at least we have his work
and memories to enjoy.
Unexpectedly,
this week I found myself thinking about cousin who I also admired and looked up to. The reason being is
that at the beginning of the week, I was awakened by one of those kinds of phone calls that, because they come at 0-dark:30
in the middle of the night, you know that it can’t be good. The news that I wound up hearing was that one of my cousins
had chosen to end his life at the age of 42. As I write those last few words it’s still hard for
me to believe that it actually happened.
Like Elvis, Jeff had an incredible story to tell. Parts of it, if you didn’t
know the man, you wouldn’t believe it if you heard it. The man experienced a life-saving and life-changing
miracle. His story made me incredibly proud of him and how he chose to leave this world will never change
how I view him.
To
rewind just a bit, Jeff’s life was filled with adversity. His dad, my Uncle Linc, suffered a crippling
stroke when Jeff was just four. He and his sister, Cindy, were often called upon to help with the nursing
responsibilities while my Aunt worked to support the family.
As Jeff got older, as kids often do, they get mixed up with the wrong crowd.
Ultimately, he became a teenage alcoholic. This led to a life of misery and despair for Jeff and
those who loved him dearly.
Ten or so years ago, a bona fide miracle happened. Jeff was working on a
high rise construction project and, while working alone, he decided that he was going to end it all by jumping off the building.
He stepped up on the ledge and was about to take the final step when he heard someone say from behind him, “Hey,
man! What are you doing?”
When he turned around, my cousin saw a long-haired, tattooed many that he had never seen before
but figured he was a new member of the crew. The man talked him down and encouraged him to get some help.
To
make a long story short, when Jeff tried to find the man a little later on, asking around for him, his co-workers looked at
him like he was crazy. They said that there had been no one on the job site or crew that looked remotely
like the guy he described.
Can that be explained away? Perhaps. However, I’ve
always believed that God has quirky ways and a hysterical sense of humor. Consequently, I think that it
would be just like Him to have amongst his angels at least one tattooed hippy type doing his bidding and that Jeff had met
him.
How
I wish that angel had showed up again and talked to my young cousin but it wasn’t meant to be.
So, like with Elvis, Jeff’s wife,
family and friends are left amazed at how this man was able to use what God had given him and rise above his circumstances.
He achieved sobriety, a happy marriage to a beautiful and loving wife, a good career, and to positively impact the
lives of others.
We are all also left wondering what could’ve been had this incredible man had handled
things just a little bit differently so that he could impact the world more than he already had.
We’ll never know but at least we
have his work and memories to enjoy. I’ll always admire and be proud of my cousin, Jeff.
(I can’t end this piece without pleading to any of you who feel that all is lost and that
life isn’t worth living any more, PLEASE not take that final step. You are loved and can still positively
impact the lives and world around you. If you feel that ending it all is the answer, please reach out to
someone to help you get the help you need. Your life is still worth living!)
